A Tale of our Time

By Liz McConnell

Gather round and listen friends
To all I have to say.
A story that will warm your hearts
And lighten up your day.

A story of intrepid friends
Who one day went to sea,
And saw strange things beneath the waves
And brought some back for tea.

But first our story must begin
One Saturday in spring
When our merry band of friends
Gathered in a ring.

"Who shall take our boat to sea?"
They chanted to the dawn,
"I know", they all agreed
"Dear old D.O. Shaun".

So to the car they tied the boat
And set off in a line
Toward the sea at Portland Bill
And even the weather was fine.

"We'll follow you" they said to Shaun
Which started off OK
But when they got to Ringwood
Vic went the other way.

"Where's the boat?" he said to Mark
"The bloody things not here"
But Mark knew when he'd got it wrong
And pretended not to hear.

"We're lost" they wailed "lets ask the way
To Ferrybridge Marina"
But the local man just looked at them
And said "I haven't seen her".

Meanwhile the others had arrived
And loaded all their gear .
Steve said they'll have to stay behind
And Alan said "Oh dear".

But as with all heroic tales
At the eleventh hour
The van, with Andy close behind
Decided to appear.

"We've got no air" the lost boys wailed
"The compressor blew a ring".
"You'll have to hold your breath" said Liz
"Or use an octopus thing".

When the boat was in the sea
With Shaun and Steve on board
It took six divers and Pam
To get the trailer secured.

Then Liz took the merry gang of six
Round to meet the boat
And finally two hours late
The whole team were afloat

The wind was blowing, the sea was rough,
The boat bobbed on the sea,
"Oh dear" said Alan as a wave came in
"It's all coming back to me".

Across the harbour, round the wall,
And sheltered from the wind,
They donned their kit, fell off the boat
And to the bottom finned.

"20 minutes, that's the max.".
Said Steve as they went down,
"Oh dear" said Alan. "We won't be long -
Too cold to hang around".

"Ahoy there" came a little voice
From the rocks above the sea,
"We're over here, please rescue us,
We've lost our SMB".

So Keith and Alan came aboard
And recounted their sad tale
Of how they thought they'd hooked it on
But somehow the clip did fail.

They all went in, they all came back,
And some said it was fun
And back they went to Castletown beach
By the light of the setting sun.

"Lets call it a day" they all agreed
And set off for the inn,
Where washed and changed and smelling sweet
Shaun got the first round in.

They all agreed it had been fun,
But soon their heads were nodding,
And wearily they went to bed
Where Andy started snoring.

Next day at breakfast they viewed the chart,
Of all round Portland Bill,
"That's South America" said Vic
"Lets go dive off Brazil".

So kitted up and full of food
They clambered all aboard,
And off toward the harbour mouth
Where a terrible thing occurred.

Under the wire they took the boat
And all did duck their heads,
Except the GPS alas
Which ended up in shreds.

A desperate thing had come to pass
So they let the woman drive,
While Steve and Shaun and the sticky tape
Made sure it was still alive.

But fortune smiled upon the gang
It wasn't really dead,
It only looked a little daft
With a plaster round its head.

They found a dive site and in they went
In happy little pairs,
And drifted out across the sand
Without too many cares.

"We saw a crab", "We saw a wrasse",
"We saw a ten foot eel",
"I've seen the Amazon Rain Forest"
Said Vic with certain zeal.

Back in the boat and back to base
And the last of yesterdays lunch,
But they didn't care, they'd all worked hard
And they weren't a fussy bunch.

All set to go to sea again
When Liz went to the loo
And kept them waiting yet again
Whatever did she do?

Across the harbour yet again
And mind that ruddy wire,
They should have thought it through some more
And hung it a little bit higher.

This time they didn't go so far
But drifted yet again.
Vic said "Is that Brazil,
It looks a bit like Spain".

Back to the beach at last they went
And unloaded all the kit
"My legs ache" said little Andy
"I don't think I'm very fit"

They took the boat to Ferrybridge
For they needed it no more,
And drove off in the setting sun
Back to hut 24.

They stopped for buns upon the way
And nobody got lost,
They put the boat and bits to bed
After it'd all been washed.

So ends our tale of divers down
In Weymouth for the weekend,
They wanted to remember it
That's why this ode was penned.

This page was last updated on : 06 Sep 2011